Growing up she had been hospitalized and diagnosed
with a learning disability. She went to school
only up to 5th grade, then went to work the fields
to help support the family --not only was she working
the fields, but also would come home to help with the
meals and the care for her younger sisters.
Because of her responsibilities, she was restricted from her own
time and because of restrictions, life was painful for her at home.
She was looked at as 'simple' and didn't know very much, academically.
As a teenager and young adult, she wasn't allowed to go out as much.
The few times she did, she met the man that swept her off her feet
and she believed could give her a better life than the one
she was living. She fell in love with his charm, his strength
and his intelligence, where she saw was far more greater
than her own. He built her a house where she tried to
make it a home. There she had to learn on her own
to be a wife and a mother, to help out with the animals,
my Dad chose to raise and keeping the house chores
and raising the children; she endured much pain. -
many nights she sat alone with her children and never complained.
...My Mom. She may have been looked at as 'simple' and not
able to comprehend very well, but she had a heart of Gold.
She just didn't know How to say NO. She didn't like to hurt
anyone. She would rather endure her pain then to upset and
hurt others. She was used and stepped on, but yet said nothing.
She was forced to make decisions she couldn't even understand.
She tried to raise her 7 children then, the best she knew how.
Struggle and survival was all she knew now.
Prior to my Dad's absence, I can remember watching Mom in the
kitchen making tortillas and learning from that. I
remember when we were sick, how she'd comfort us with
her love and hold us and hug us,till we felt better
and so much more....then when Dad went away, it seems
that's when Mom did too.
Life with Mom growing up was hard. We as her children
couldn't understand why Mom was the way she was. She was just
'THERE'! No one ever told us about her learning disability or her
lack of comprehension. But yet we grew, knowing there was much
more out there and wanting to learn about it. We grew apart
from her not really knowing how much pain and suffering
it brought to her.
Mom was diagnosed with Diabetes in her early 30's and did nothing
to control it. To change her diet was hard for her to handle
for she thoroughly enjoyed eating what she wanted. She enjoyed
dancing and the attention it brought to her. As her life went on,
so did the Diabetes, out of control it went. She wouldn't
out right complain until you asked her how she was doing
and she'd answer with, 'OH - NOT SO GOOD' and go on to say 'Que me
duelle aqui aye'... But did we ever pay attention? NO.
To us it was her way for attention. Attention, yes,
to the pain she kept inside. Just wanting her babies
around her. Gosh - but we were wrapped up in our own lives.
Mom got worse where she experienced Kidney Failure, lost eye sight
in one eye and required more attention. Needless to say,
it required change of hearts and minds from her children and
acceptance in what we were faced with now. We were all
given understanding at this time of the pain and suffering
this woman was going thru. Most of us being there with
her through the process. We prepared ourselves with her.
She was afraid of leaving her children. We sat many
of times together explaining life here and life beyond.
She prayed and cried out to God every night that she would
get better. Especially since she could no longer walk. She'd have
dreams running and walking with her children and
cried as she told me the next day.
At the end she faced the possibility of losing her leg. I believe she
could not accept that, and with that her health deteriorated.
You know, the only part of her body that was left strong enough to
the end, was her heart. The heart that cared alot. The heart that
endured so much and the heart that forgave beyond her
understanding. Many of us may have looked at her as 'simple'
not 'smart enough'; however, in sitting with her and hearing
her speak, this woman, thru the years, was as smart
as any one here today. She just did the BEST she knew
how with what she could. And as you see ALL 7 of us
here today, you bet we carry an imprint of Mom
in each one of us. And I'm proud to say that in learning from her,
I learned to stand strong and say 'NO' when need be.
Now Mom, you'll be in us always. WE LOVE YOU,
© 1997 - 2015